mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
