think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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