The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm always down for nudity.
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