My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
