I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
