i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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