i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize