Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.

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(207): View more from Maine

hows the new call of duty?

(1-207): View more from Maine

I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.

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(347): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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(805): View more from California

I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.

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(903): View more from Texas

Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.

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(646): View more from New York

Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.

(646): View more from New York

Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die

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(440): View more from Ohio

its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

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(310): View more from California

How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?

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