did you get engaged???
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
