ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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