Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
