"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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