ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
