YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
