k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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