You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
