My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think your dad took our porno
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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