The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
