...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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