I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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