between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
