Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
