its not stalking. its research.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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