Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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