Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
