just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
