it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
