Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
