I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
