butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
