I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
