I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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