The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's shark week go big or go home
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
