HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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