Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
