I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
