hotel room ftw
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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