Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
