I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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