Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
