You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
