one might say we're banned from that church
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
