it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
