she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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