just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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