question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
