guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
