I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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