The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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