I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
