One girl and one boy is just not enough.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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