Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i now understand why vodka
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
