If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
