I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
