i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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