he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
